The Master English Crusader Plan; Or, Why Did Pooh de Bear Land in Costa Rica?

I was to get a TESOL one month degree in Costa Rica then I was to teach at a rich kid international prep school for two grand a month with my billeting included. I was to learn Spanish and find some winsome Latin Lass to wed. I was to ride year round in the perennial summers and eat many exotic fruits. I was to reclaim mine 100 Acre Woods and reunite with my ole buddy piglet who'd gone feral grousing through the forests ever and anon running scared of the spotted cat killers who'd gorge his fat and lap his blood.

But, the story did not work out that way. For here I sit broken-hearted I tried for the big money prep skool jobs but they already stared... and gone and hired some otro hombre who thought to equal my Great Pontification in the English Class.

And so it is that I am in America again. But, I shall make this work a memory, a revenge, a bitter tirade, a sweet reminisces, a bragging blog about how very fat the Life Of ME: The Centro Conquistador was in my sojurn in Costa and Nica Lands...